I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
