I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
