Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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