Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
