I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
