ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
