She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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