I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
