The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
