It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
