Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
