never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
