If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
