We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
