you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
