Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
