i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
