is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
