its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
