people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
