What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
