Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
handjob tips. give me some.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
MIDGETS
????
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
