This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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