so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
