she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
