my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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