I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's the barista slut.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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