did you get engaged???
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
