The maid of honor just puked.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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