my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
