I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
