I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is Oprah even human
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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