What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
