had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
last night I used snow as a chaser
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
