i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
home. puking in laundry basket.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
