Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We're facebook friends in real life
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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