Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
