I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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