Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
