finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
