the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
