is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
