I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
