I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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