According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
