News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
