Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
