Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Terrible idea I love it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
