Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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