3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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